Is this a mental break………thru?

Ok I’m going to get real personal

You ever feel like you’re having a mental breakdown but you are fully aware of what is happening to you and you know what you must do in order get yourself right but you just……..can’t………seem…….to…….do……it?

That is where I am currently at. Stuck

I’m not going to lie, this is one of the the most stressful, scary, risky, loss of sleep we have ever gone thru. Add on top of that two parents fighting cancer, a job loss and the first year after the traumatic loss of my mother in law.

Things are not as bad as they seem, though.

Dads cancer seems to be…….well we don’t know really but he seems to be doing fine and will go back to find out how well radiation worked in a few months. Mom is doing ok. Recovery from surgery has been a little rough but she is the strongest woman I know! Mom is (most likely) stage two and after CT scans confirm if it has spread or not we will find out her chemo cocktail recipe. Fingers crossed!

The house is coming along. Seems the perc test went great and from what we keep hearing we have great soil! I can’t wait to test that out on my garden that I have been daydreaming and sketching about.

We have a rough driveway and pad for the house cut in. I absolutely love it. Its amazing seeing in real life what you have been dreaming about for so long! When you can actually sleep that is.

How do I not crack up? I guess the path of least resistance leads to; you either do it, or you don’t. Because life happens, every day, and if you don’t find time for your yourself during the bad times then you are just jumping from one “good thing/time” after another and not really living!! Or is it opposite? Depends on perspective I guess. And I’m always the hopeless hopeful, optimist, my glass is always full, of wine! LOL

Everything in life is temporary, isn’t that crazy? But its true, time is such a fickle bitch! Hunker down during the bad times, they too shall pass; and enjoy and be present for everything else, for they never last long enough!!

I’ll update the house situation soon, but in the meantime I’m taking care of some things, and one of them is me. =)

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